VALENTINE

I have always hated Valentine’s Day.
Ok you caught me.
Not nearly always.
I mean I remember my high school days
When my girlfriends (The Sperm Dealers) and I used to have illusions about love.
You know the whole yard; fairytale, happily ever after.
On Valentine’s Day, the girls would bring a change of clothes along; red and black.
And the code was skimpy, hoeish kinda clothes.
Then after classes are over they would pose in front of the school and take pics.
I was the only male member of the Sperm Dealers; I was like a pimp to low budget whores.
Those times were fun.
The advices I gave, pointing out the cute guys on campus for them to seduce, defending them when teachers are on their case (I had a way of talking my way out of trouble) and leading them into bitch fights and victory.
We were the talk of the school and even the teachers knew about the group. I’m sure back then most of the gals couldn’t spell “virgin” to save their own lives.
And yet we strongly believed in the concept of love and not the quick quick bang bang, thank you, see you never again.
I remember how we used to buy the lyrics of Westlife’s music and CDs just to sing along to them.
Hey don’t judge us. We were young. And just so you know Westlife had sum really good music. Even though most of them were cover versions. *sigh*
Oh but I always dreamt one day I would find that one person whom I wuld serenade with these songs.
Eh! Please I still on to those dreams.
Yes we all know am a hopeless romantic.
You see the reason why I’ve been hating on Valentine ’s Day is because I’ve always been single on that day.
Surely you can imagine how dat makes someone like me feel.
So to make myself feel better, I always hate on this day. And here goes:
You see I don’t really understand why y’all wait till 14th February to show your lovers how much they mean to you,
To buy them gifts, take them out, spoil them and if you are holding out on them, to give them sumthn sumthn .
Take the advice of a true romantic; you can make every day a valentines day. It’s the little things you do.
You don’t need a special day to tell a lover you how much you love them.
People if your partners only pamper you on vals day, please dump them now!
And for the girls who have been holding out. What’s with you anyways?
Why do you wanna wait till vals day? Eh? Or y’all wish St. Valentine was boning you?
Please stop giving the guys stress.
And as for you guys, get out of your comfort zones! Be sensitive and romantic people! Arrrrgh!
Life woulda been a better place if girls and boys acted right!
To me those of you who celebrate Valentine are down low horny people who are desperate to get laid.
Y’all know the chances of getting some on vals day is high!
Shame! I can see some of you rubbing your hands in anticipation.
The gifts, sweet words, the show of affections are all tickets to get laid.
Y’all are just buying sex, and the girls who would give out cos off small pampering are just undercover sluts.
That said I fink you are no different from the Sperm Dealers. But at least they were kids. You lot have no excuse now.
I see all you guys paying for sex and you down low sluts. :P
Eh am just hating cos am single and gnashing.
Don’t take it personal… on second thoughts please do.
So if you see me in black tomorrow, know that I am mourning virginities that would be lost.
This is total crap. Why did I write this?